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Saturday, October 10, 2009

A Smattering of Good (and BAD) Pickup Lines

These are some of the funnier/ridiculous pickup lines I’ve come across. Some of these are just so bad you wouldn’t be caught dead using ‘em in real life. For the same reason some are more offensive than funny. Here they are in no particular order:

  1. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
  2. Your legs are like two theme parks, what time do they open?
  3. I want to be DNA helicase so I can unzip your jeans.
  4. I know what you're thinking and the answer is 'Yes, that is a 64-bit driver.'
  5. Are you Jamaican? cause jamaican me boner.
  6. I wish I were sin^2 and you were cos^2, because together we could be 1.
  7. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
  8. I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
  9. Hi, my bank account is over 7 figures. What's that? You want to marry me? But you didn't hear my cheesy pick up line yet!
  10. How do you like you eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?
  11. Is your dad a baker? Because you have a lot of rolls.
  12. Is your dad a dentist? Because it looks like he stole all your teeth.
  13. Is your dad a cop? Because I don't want another restraining order.
  14. Does your dad work for the RIAA. FUCK THE RIAA!
  15. I'm not sure of your name, but I'm sure I've come across your face before.
  16. That dress sure is becoming on you. Then again, if I was on you, I'd be coming, too.
  17. Pardon me, do you have a vagina? Because I'd like to put my penis inside it.
  18. Ever been to Alaska? No? So you've never seen pipes like these.
  19. Hope your firewall is down, cause I want to flood your ports.
  20. Hey, are you constipated? Cause I wanna fuck the shit out of you.
  21. Do you work at Subway? Because you're giving me a footlong.
  22. You wanna go back to my place, eat pizza and screw? What, you don't like pizza?
  23. If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
  24. Roses are red
    Violets are green
    I like your legs
    And what's in between.
  25. You must be my homework; I don't know if I'm gonna do it, but I'm getting an extension.
  26. You smell just like your bicycle seat!
  27. Hey baby, are those space pants? 'Cause your ass is out of this world.
  28. Hey baby, wanna come over to myspace so i can twitter your yahoo until i google all over your facebook?
  29. Do you sleep on your stomach? "Can I?"
  30. You must be a general, because my private just snapped to attention.

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